Introductions

Our characters all have to meet one another at some point. In a world where who you knew was an important part of one's social worth, the concept of an introduction was important to solidifying one's acquaintanceship, and thus one's social standing. The purpose of this article, written by Betsy, is to lay out the theory of introductions, as well as the method for making introductions.

The Fine Art of An Introduction

The purpose of an introduction was to establish the fact that it was appropriate for two people to know one another. In a time and place when one’s status and society were of the utmost importance, an introduction cemented one’s place in the social sphere. Etiquette manuals implored that the person introducing two parties remember that he was serving as an advocate for both parties– that is, through his acquaintanceship with both parties, the person making the introduction was vouching for the fact that both parties were upstanding individuals who were on equal social footing and thus could be acquaintances without besmirching the reputations of any of them. To offer an introduction to someone who was not a desirable acquaintance was a faux pas on the part of the person doing the introducing.

Making An Introduction

The manner of making the first introduction in the British aristocracy was like a script or formula – everyone said basically the same thing. Good manners indicated that gentlemen were always introduced to ladies, younger people were introduced to older people, and those of lower social standing were introduced to those of higher social standing. Thus, the person who is being honored by the introduction (or who has the most to gain via the introduction) is introduced to the person who would be condescending to agree to an introduction.

Let me use my characters and hijack one more as example: Felicity Staunton would like to introduce Benedict DeLancey to her Aunt Demelza. At the appropriate moment, Felicity says to Demelza, "Aunt Demelza, allow me to introduce Mr. DeLancey. He is nephew to Lord Annandale and heir to that gentleman’s estate and title. Mr. DeLancey, my aunt, Mrs. Quartermaine."

Note the formula: 1) Felicity first asks permission to introduce the gentleman to the lady, using the name she would call them each by (Demelza is "Aunt Demelza", while Mr. DeLancey is "Mr. DeLancey". 2) Felicity offers some credentials. This is not always necessary, but if the two parties are totally unacquainted (or one party is an absolute dragon), it is sometimes appropriate to explain why this is a reasonable introduction to make. 3) Felicity, having gotten approval from Aunt Demelza (ie, she hasn’t totally been cut off), introduces the lady to the gentleman. Note that she refers to her aunt as "Mrs. Quartermaine" – this is the name that Mr. DeLancey will use to refer to Demelza, and so Felicity uses that name in making the introduction.

Let us try it with a different set of characters – Felicity wishes to introduce Demelza to Louisa, who is a baroness and thus, although younger, is Demelza’s superior. The introduction would thus read, "Lady Wadebridge, may I introduce my aunt, Mrs. Quartermaine? Aunt Demelza, this is Lady Wadebridge." Note the difference in the formula – as a baroness, there is obviously very little reason to make a point of Louisa’s credentials to Demelza, but Felicity points out that Mrs. Quartermaine is her aunt. The implication is that Felicity is informed enough about a relative’s character to vouch for the acquaintanceship.

After all, that is basically what an introduction is – vouching for the fact that both characters would profit from an acquaintanceship with the other.

How To Get An Introduction

One never introduces oneself to anyone else in social settings (note that this does not apply to business settings). As mentioned above, a mutual acquaintance is needed to vouch for the characters and social standings of both parties. If Benedict introduces himself to Annabelle Beacham, she has no way to know his social standing or character. Even if he goes on to outline that he’s rescued children from burning orphanages, regularly brings bread to the poor, and is heir to a vast estate, she has no way of verifying this information in a pre-Google world. Thus, he needs to find someone to introduce them. Only the most extreme circumstances (such as John Willoughby carrying home Marianne Dashwood with her sprained ankle) would permit a gentleman to introduce himself.

It is very simple, really. All Benedict has to do to make Belle’s acquaintance is to find someone who knows her, and ask. If he’s walking down the street with Charlie Devenish, he might ask him, "Do you know that blonde girl? I should like to make her acquaintance very much." Charlie, being acquainted with Belle, and also knowing the measure of Benedict’s character, can then introduce them when convenient. He can, alternatively, inform Benedict that an acquaintanceship with Belle is not desirable, if there are reasons—such as one of them being so much higher status than the other that an acquaintanceship would be ill-advised.

At balls and assemblies, if a gentleman sees a lady he wishes to dance with, he has options. At a public ball, he can apply to the master of ceremonies, whose job it was to know the names and social standings of all in attendance; this is how Catherine Morland meets Henry Tilney in Northanger Abbey – at the Lower Rooms, "the master of ceremonies introduced her to a young gentleman-like partner; his name was Tilney" (Austen). At a private ball or private event, one would apply to the host or hostess, who would obviously know everyone in attendance, and be able to make the appropriate introductions. However, an introduction for the purpose of dancing was not binding outside the ballroom – read on for more about how to get out of an introduction.

When Introductions Go Wrong

Say your character has been introduced to a character who is most decidedly NOT a good acquaintance for them. It could be one of several reasons – they do not get along, they are not the same social sphere, or one character’s behavior is objectionable to the other.

This is where things get sticky. Once two characters have been introduced, it is very poor manners for one not to acknowledge the other in social occasions and when on the street. This is called "cutting". If one character cuts another, it means they are no longer desirous of remaining acquaintances and maintaining social contact with them.

There were several methods of cutting another person, based upon how deeply you wanted to cut them. The following is an exact quote from the 1811 edition of The Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue, by Francis Grose:

To cut someone: to renounce acquaintance with anyone is to cut him. The cut direct, is to start across the street at the approach of the obnoxious person in order to avoid him. The cut indirect, is to look the other way and pass without appearing to observe him. The cut sublime, is to admire the top of King's College Chapel (Cambridge) or the beauty of the passing clouds till he is out of sight. The cut infernal, is to analyze the arrangement of your shoe strings, for the same purpose.

While this is a good overview, the implications are not clear. To pretend not to see someone was considered a cut, but was kinder to both parties as both could understand the implications of the action, and yet save a certain amount of face, especially if the two individuals involved had been recently acquainted and perhaps did not wish to have any further acquaintance. The cut direct, wherein one would purposefully acknowledge having seen an acquaintance by making eye contact with them, and either pass them by without showing recognition or (worse still) make a point of crossing the street to avoid them, was considered to be a slap in the face.

While a cut was shocking for the party who was being cut, it was one of a very few socially acceptable ways of being released from an established acquaintanceship. To one who was cut, there was little they could do by way of retribution if they felt they had been wronged by being cut – the other person had already refused to acknowledge them as anyone with whom they would be acquainted. Obviously, it was up to the person with higher social authority to cut someone beneath them – and cutting was reserved for ladies only.

Be forewarned – there is no going back from a cut. Even etiquette manuals of the time say that "a cold bow" is preferable, and that "As a general rule, never cut anyone in the street" (Laws of Etiquette). Cuts should be reserved for particularly odious behavior, as the coolness of one’s demeanor towards an acquaintance can often effectively indicate one’s feelings, without having to cause undue embarrassment. Better, according to The Laws of Etiquette, to wait and see "if they presume conversation with you", before passing them by. A cut, the author reminds us, is for life.

Miscellanea

• As a general rule - gentlemen are introduced to ladies, and younger people are introduced to older people, assuming that all other factors are equal.

• When gentlemen are introduced to one another, they remove their hats and bow. When ladies meet, they curtsey or bow to one another. When a lady meets a gentleman, she curtsies and he bows. They rarely shake hands – American etiquette manuals commented on the customary reserve maintained in introductions in England.

• Gentlemen and ladies only shake hands if they are on very intimate terms with one another – that is, if they are family or have an obvious and noted affection for one another (and by that we mean, wedding bells can be heard in the near future). Gentlemen only shake hands if they are good friends who are well acquainted and of similar social standing.

• An inferior who is introduced to their superior should make a defined bow or curtsey. The superior may then simply incline their head in a bow.

• On the street, when a gentleman and lady who had been introduced to one another met, the gentleman was obliged to tip his hat and bow. It was entirely up to the lady whether or not to acknowledge his presence, though not acknowledging it constituted a cut.

• Those of higher rank can ask for an introduction, and generally right in front of the person whose acquaintance they wish to make. For example Daphne Werlington, as Belle’s superior in rank and age, can ask Belle to introduce Regina Rutledge to her, if she notes that Belle and Regina are having a conversation and wants to know who Regina is. However, if Regina wants to be introduced to Daphne, she should ask discreetly, as Belle has every right to refuse to make the introduction and it would be embarrassing to all parties for such an exchange to take place publicly.

• When making an introduction of a group of people, one introduces from the highest rank to the lowest rank. The Bennets would be introduced as "Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, Miss Bennet, Miss Elizabeth Bennet, Miss Mary Bennet, Miss Catherine Bennet, and Miss Lydia Bennet."

• Married couples are introduced together – Mr. and Mrs. Bennet, Lord and Lady Wadebridge, etc.

Sources

Austen, Jane. (1818). Northanger Abbey. London, England: John Murray.

A Gentleman. (1836). The Laws of Etiquette. Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: Publisher Unknown. Available at [1]

Grose, Francis. (1811). The Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue. Available at [2]